May 25

Towel Day 2013!

Towel Day Blogfest redo

In the words of the Guide, “Don’t Panic!” because Towel Day is finally here. For those of you who don’t know, Towel Day is an annual celebration of the life and work of writer Douglas Adams, most famously known as the author of the series The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. This year, as part of my annual celebration, I am participating in the Towel Day Blogfest hosted by L.G. Keltner. In fact, they created the image to the right, so be sure to stop by the blog to say thank you.

My contribution is going to be suggestions for celebrating Towel Day.

First and foremost, if you haven’t read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY READ IT NOW! Barring that, you could at least acquaint yourself loosely with the material by looking up a synopsis or watching the movie or the BBC mini-series. But it’s a thin book! You could probably sit down and read it in a couple hours; it’s only about 46,000 words long or about as thick as the pinky you extend while observing Brownian motion in a hot beverage (say a nice cup of tea).

Now, fans of Adams wear a towel conspicuously throughout the day, because, in the words of The Guide,

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

My son and I observe Towel Day every year; we even have special towels that we use especially for this day (photo below). If you are so inclined, you can post photos of you (and possibly other hoopy froods) with your towel on the Flickr Towel Day page.

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You can find suggestions and (hopefully) local celebrations by visiting the official Towel Day site, but here are a few of my favorites.

1. Wear pajamas and/or bathrobe along with your towel, at home or abroad. If it’s good enough for Arthur Dent, it’s good enough for me.

2. Try to make the perfect sandwich.

3. Make a Terran version of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. My son and I made some one year; it was a challenge coming up with Terran AND non-alcoholic versions of the ingredients. We used things like a candy shaped like a tooth for the tooth of the Algolian Suntiger, things like that, and served them up in funky glasses.

4. Read excerpts from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and watch either the movie or the BBC television series. I’ve decided that popcorn is the perfect food to go with the PGGB’s (from suggestion #3).

5. Write some Vogon Poetry with the help of the Vogon Poetry generator.

6. Use lingo from the books all day long.

Of course, Douglas Adams wrote more than just the Hitchhiker’s series, so you might want to delve into some of his other work. Dirk Gentley’s Holistic Detective Agency is brilliantly funny, and Last Chance to See calls our attention to our responsibilities to the world around us, albeit in a humorous way. Adams had a masterful wit that continues to have impacts in the world today. If you haven’t read the books, read them and discover what you’ve been missing. If you have, take the time to remember a wonderful author and person.

May 21

Pinholes: Traveling through the Curtain of the Night (Interlude #1) – Origin Point

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Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Interlude: Origin Point

The outcast gazed down the hall with trepidation. As in dreams, the walls narrowed and the corridor elongated, lined with fellow students, few of whom he considered his compatriots. His nemesis stood halfway between him and his shop class, surrounded by his cronies.


The teen hugged his books to his chest, narrowed his gaze to the floor directly beneath his feet, and moved forward. He could walk past unnoticed while the other boy sipped from the old fashioned metal water fountain. Other teens lounged around the corridor, watching him. A girl waited nearby, chewing on one of her long blond ponytails, but all the teen saw were her size seven bowling shoes.

He was almost past.


“Hey, Brainiac,” called the voice he’d dreaded hearing, “Off to shop, I see, with the other dumb jocks.”


The gangly youth’s only sport was bowling, but he wasn’t about to argue.


“Cut it out, Portage, ” said the blonde next to him. “Leave him alone.”


The bully looked at the girl, then the lone man standing at the end of the hall; the man said nothing, just stood quietly with folded arms, watching the exchange.


His nemesis paused and, after a second glance at the adult, resumed his taunts. “No,” he said, “no, I don’t think so. I mean, just because he managed to get in on some sort of pity program, doesn’t mean he really belongs at Brainiac High. Did his mother invent anything noteworthy? Has his father contributed anything to science?”


“I just want to get to class, ” said the other teen. “I don’t want any trouble.” He glanced from his antagonist to the girl.


She gazed anxiously down the hall at the silent adult. “Portage…”


“Listen, I’m sorry the other shop guys called you, uh… by your initials-”


The villain’s eyes narrowed. “Those are NOT my initials. My last name is McPeeve.”


“Portage,” said the girl, “just because your middle name is Mac-”


“I mean,” said the teen, “P.P. isn’t the same as pee-PEE. I mean, what about P squared? Or, uh…” The bully’s eyes followed those of the girl and found the man again. An almost imperceptible nod from the adult drew a sigh from the contentious youth. “Dammit, Dad,” he cursed, then shook his head.


One of his minions stepped forward and, before either startled teen could react, shoved the outcast’s head into the fountain’s battered metal spigot. “Take that, Shop-boy.”

Bone shattered as his face crashed into the steel valve, sending the nozzle sliding across the hall. Water sprayed across the floor, turning the linoleum pink with the boy’s diluted blood.


The injured teen blacked out. He missed Portage’s pained look as he gazed down at the teen’s unconscious body. He missed the small grin that flickered across the face of Mr. McPeeve, the school’s physics teacher, before the man pulled out his cell and phoned the ambulance.


#


The room slowly swam into focus; white walls, white sheets, and the white coat of the doctor were illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the hospital room’s lone window. Voices grew louder and more distinct as he swam his way up through murky depths. “…and with advances in facial reconstruction…. of course, for… … dental work.”


His head felt like it would explode. He tried to move his jaw to speak, but pain flared sudden and violent. The last thing he saw before blacking out was the symbol of a hammer in a clenched fist, the emblem of mighty Hephaestus, embroidered on his shop teacher’s hat.


What he wouldn’t have given for the strength of the god and the tools to protect himself. Heck, not just himself but all who needed protection from evildoers. Unable to speak, he silently vowed to acquire them, so as never to be at someone else’s mercy again.


Then he passed out.
.

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholesnext Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

 

May 17

Review (Short Story): Mysteries Unite by Victoria Bending

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In 2007, inspired by the prompt ‘Mysteries Unite,” Victoria Bending (@MetalWings) wrote this short story. Not only did it win the competition (to write a story titled ‘Mysteries Unite’), but the narrative itself has become the prologue of a much longer work.

Cleris and his adopted sister, Ashe, dream of magic and faries in a world where none exist. Cleris’s father wants his son to focus his intellect on more practical matters rather than flights of the imagination, yet Cleris refuses to give up his dreams. When he spots a falling star in the heavens near their home, will he have the chance to make those dreams come true?

I’ve never read anything by this author before, but the writing style reminded me strongly of Susan Cooper, author of the fantasy, The Dark is Rising.The characters are expertly written, questions are raised, and the reader is drawn inexorably along into the story’s mystery.

If you enjoy short fiction with fantastic elements and engaging characters, you should download your free epub of ‘Mysteries Unite’ by Victoria Bending. You might just become a fan.

*image courtesy of bigfoto.com

May 14

Pinholes: Traveling through the Curtain of the Night (episode #20)

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Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #20

Meanwhile, in another universe-

She’s hardly a social creature, thought Portage, taking time to inspect the bolts and locks on the huge wooden door. Mrs. Bumblefrost’s safety might depend on what he gleaned about the woman who had stolen his beloved kitten, so he couldn’t afford to overlook clues, no matter how trivial. Why did she have to complicate things?

He inspected the studio apartment. Set into its brick walls, double-thick windows led out onto a rickety fire escape. He briefly wondered if the building was up to code. Every wall was covered with artwork: watercolors sat alongside tempura painted canvases. Drawings were tacked haphazardly to walls: some charcoal sketches, some colored pencils, and even some rough pastels.

Many images varied on the same theme, a red desert -in styles both realistic and abstract. The thought struck Portage that the artist’s attempts to capture the scene may have been for reasons other than simple aesetetics; perhaps her need was deeper, closer to obsession. Portage could relate to that. When struck by inspiration, he worked day and night, unable to eat or sleep or think of anything other than his task. Did the mystery woman experience the same compulsion?

He gazed at each image, waiting to see what story each would tell. Aside from the desert themes, her other works held no obvious similarities. An elegant tea party in an old fashioned house gave way to a charcoal sketch of a chain gang; a watercolor of Supers battling with strange weapons perched alongside a pastel drawing of animated corpses.

The red planet scenes seemed the most recent though. He approached a large easel set near the window. He touch the coarse horse-hair of the painbrush on the nearby windowsill; wet crimson clung to his fingertips.

After taking photos with his cell, he took out a large plastic gun and scanned each image. Then he pulled out more tools from his bottomless coat pockets and began scraping small bits from each work. He noticed the author’s signature. “Alice,” he muttered. Looking around once again, he took in the cat statue, the large top hat in the tea party painting, and other minute details. “I wonder…”

A theory, wildly improbable yet annoyingly tenacious, began to worm its way through his mind. There was no way to verify his hunch but return to his own universe. There he could organize the data to track the infernal Alice, along with Mrs. Bumblefrost, through the multi-verse. If he could predict their destination in time, he might catch them before they became forever doomed to fall through the fabric holding the multi-verse together.

He turned back to the where the Gateway should have been and walked-

– into the hard wooden door.

The Gateway was gone.

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholesnext Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

May 11

Three Wishes a la Emma Newman

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Emma Newman, author of Between Two Thorns, wants to “crowd-source some magic” by having people post three wishes on their blog or Tumbler, and then link to her site. She has instructions, other links, and fun things to get people together to grant each other’s wishes. Now, she’s not talking “I wish I had wings” type of wishing, the type that involves fairy godmothers or even a really good pair of ruby slippers. But if wishers view each other’s wishes and find that they can help make them come true, then they just might do it! Great idea; right?

Well, I spent some time thinking about my wishes, and here are the three I really want.

My three wishes:

1. A book deal with a publisher that will provide an editor, cover artist, etc. and pay for my work.

2. People to read what I have written, in particular my humorous serial, Pinholes: Traveling through the Curtain of the Night, which is, incidently, the book I would like to have published.

3. I would like to be able to afford to pay a wonderful artist that I know to illustrate some of my stories (and/or my independently published book).

Now, I don’t magically expect the internet to grant all my wishes. These are things I’m already working toward and will accomplish, whether it’s tomorrow or ten years from now. That said, I’m as willing as the next person to click my heels and rub that brass lamp, mixed metaphors be damned! Now I’m going to go check out some other people’s wishes, and see if just maybe I can help make them come true.

“These three wishes are part of a wish-making community organised by author Emma Newman to celebrate the release of the second Split Worlds novel “Any Other Name”. Can you make any of them come true? Come and see what other people are wishing for and find out how to join in at www.splitworlds.com/split-worlds-extra/three-wishes – who know, perhaps someone could make one of your wishes come true.”

*image posted with kind permission of Big Foto.

May 07

Pinholes: Traveling through the Curtain of the Night (episode #19)

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Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #19

Ms. Decision operated the Gateway Manipulator with little trouble, since it was still set to its last coordinates. The glowing sphere hummed softly with electric brilliance; the Doctor, donning his labcoat once again and taking along some small instruments, stepped through the portal into another universe.

Hephaestus stumbled out from the laboratory’s broom closet. “So, he can’t hear us?” he asked Snap, “right?” He pushed a few brooms back into the closet, along with the mop that had repeatedly planted its wet ropes in his carefully coiffed hair.

“Luckily, no,” said Snap. “I believe there’s a fundamental difference is the way sound waves propigate through the-” She noticed the blank look on the super’s face. “It just doesn’t.”

Hephaestus looked relieved. “So…” His red slippered foot made circles on the floor. “Have you thought about what I said?” He looked up into Snap’s blue eyes. The black rims of her glasses highlighted their beauty.

“About my employer exploiting me, taking me for granted, and being up to a dastardly purpose?” She laughed. “Well, I grant you the first two, and I won’t deny his ultimate goal-”

“You know that?”

Snap stepped back and apprasied the man before her. Sure his hero outfit was ridiculous, but there had to be more to him than met the eye. Could he really be this clueless? Innocence was a concept she had trouble reconciling, given her experience with villains. The man seemed just a bit too simple.

“Well, of course!,” she answered. “The man is a genius, so who better to rule the world than a genius?” If the hero proved too troublesome, she supposed she could kick his butt again and throw him back in the broom closet. He looked like he had barely managed to fight off the mop.

Hephaestus considered this. The act involved creasing his brow repeatedly. “And you’re ok with that?”

“Well, I’ll admit,” said Snap, “I didn’t expect to be quite so… I mean, I know he hired me for minion work, and I can’t complain about the benefits package. Even the dental is fantastic, but-” She looked at Hephaestus, suddenly wanting to unload on this strange man. She couldn’t explain why, but she felt she could tell him how she felt. “I mean, we went to school together.”

“I see,” said Hephaestus. She remembers me! he thought, tears of happiness pricking his eyes. And here I thought she’d never noticed me. I mean, I didn’t even-

“Are you ok?” asked Snap. At a nod from Hephaestus, she continued chewing on one long ponytail as she organized her thoughts. “I took classes with him, studied with him on Saturday nights, and when we started working together full time I thought…”

“Studied with… oh,” said Hephaestus, heart sinking.

She chewed carefully

The hero waited a small eternity.

“A girl needs more; you know?” She turned and glared at the machine. “I thought, you know, once we started working so closely together… but all he cares about is that damn cat his father gave him.”

“You thought… wait, what?” The super furrowed his brow again. It seemed the manly thing to do. “His father? You mean, Mary McPeeve?”

“Yes, yes, the bastard.” Snap fumed. “Ever since his dear ol’ dad gave him that infernal feline that’s all he cares about.” She stewed. “It’s incredible, how someone can be so clueless when it comes to sensing another person’s feelings-”

“Yes-” Hephaestus leaned in closer. She smelled heavenly, an exotic blend of floral shampoo, chocolate chip cookie, and a lingering unidentifiable chemical scent he strongly suspected was industrial strength antiseptic. She was an extremely hygienic woman.

“That they can be so close, and yet something… you know, any moron could see how this other person feels. They are so close. It’s practically staring them in the face.”

“Yes, that must be very frustrating,” mumbled Hephaestus. He shifted from foot to foot as Snap paced back and forth in her fury. To his eyes, she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

“You know what?” she said, halting mere inches from his face, “you’re absolutely right. Why should I let myself be taken advantage of? I think you’ve got the right idea, after all.”

“I do?” The blood rose to Hephaestus’ cheeks, and he looked down at his red slippers.

“Yes, why should I help him? Why not help you instead?”

“You mean, you’ll become a hero and help me thwart his evil plan to dominate the universe, uh verses… Universes?”

Snap’s laughter filled the laboratory, echoing off the walls and rebounding like a physical blow upon the poor super. “What, are you kidding? Hell, no! I’m going to help you find that damn cat before Portage does.”

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholesnext Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

Apr 30

Pinholes: Traveling through the Curtain of the Night (episode #18)

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 Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #18

From his vantage point in the closet, Hephaestus – hero of the city, protector of the innocent – peered at the distraught man in the lab coat. The man wouldn’t stop screaming. This posed a problem for Hephaestus, not only because he had sworn to come to the aid of those in need – or in this case extreme distress – but because sound carried quite well through the slits in the closet’s wooden door. He had thought it an advantage when the woman had pushed him inside; actually he had hoped she had something else in mind, but – boyhood fantasies aside – he had thought it an excellent survelleince spot. He could see through the slits and listen without fear of discovery. However, Doctor Portage McPeeve’s voice now burrowed into his brain like splinters. He wanted to scream himself.

Ms. Snap Decision, on the other hand, was as cool and composed as a minion could be under the circumstances. She slapped her employer across the face, leaving the red imprint of her hand on his cheek. “Snap out of it!” she said.

He stopped screaming and looked at her blankly. “Snap! What the hell happened?”

Villains, thought Hephaestus, Always with the potty mouths. He mused on the fact that Snap also had a more extensive vocabulary than he was used to, but it certainly wasn’t her fault. Being exploited by her employer was bound to have bad linquistic consequences. Soon she would ally herself with Hephaestus, help him save the world (or worlds in this case, he still wasn’t quite sure about the whole concept), and her language would clean up considerably. He envisioned her in a cape and tights again.

“Portage!”

The scientist looked at her blankly.

“Portage, what happened? Doctor McPeeve!”

His eyes seemed to focus on his assistant, their wild light momentarily dimmed, then he turned to the softly glowing sphere. “You were looking that way,” he said. “Did you see her go through it?”

“No,” said Snap. “I was looking at you.” Color rose to her cheeks. “But I doubt she could have jumped through the Gateway without me seeing her, even though your back was turned.”

“I was grabbing a cookie for Mrs. Bumblefrost!”

“Baked goods not withstanding,” continued Snap, “I think she disappeared.”

“But she still had time left! There was more than enough time before-”

“But how do you know?” asked his minion. “I mean, maybe time passes differently in her universe or-”

Portage paused to regard his companion with beneficent condescension. “No, Ms. Decision, time passes… wait.” He stopped, running his hand through his scraggly hair. “What if she had a pre-disposition for traveling to other universes?”

This time it was Snap’s turn to be puzzled. “Huh?”

“We’ve noticed that Mrs. Bumblefrost is attracted to… well, let’s say strange-”

“You mean, supernatural-”

“There’s no such thing as something outside nature!” He took in her pursed lips and said, “Fine, she keeps falling through dimensional holes into situations that feature persons with what appears to be supernatural abilities or something that appears to be supernatural happening to them; right?”

Snap nodded, arms crossed.

“What if that is what happened with the woman? What if she’s somehow pre-disposed to hyper-dimensional travel? At least on some level?”

“I suppose it’s possible,” said Snap. “I mean, Mrs. Bumblefrost kept falling through holes in the universe-”

“Holes in alternate universes, universes that she didn’t belong in, so – because her genetic pattern didn’t match, she fell through… well, thin spots in the space-time of the multi-verse.”

“But you didn’t when you chased her,” Snap pointed out.

“But I would have if I had stayed long enough,” said the good doctor. “But that woman, out of her own universe, did not take as long to slip through. Mrs. Bumblefrost, who seems to have a knack for finding the ‘supernatural‘-” Portage drew scare quotes in the air around the word with his fingers. “There must be some sort of clue as to what drew Mrs. Bumblefrost to her.”

“Where would we-”

They both stopped and looked at the sphere.

“Her apartment was filled with paintings and sketches. There must be some clues there.”

“I’ll man the Gateway for you, Doctor.”

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

Apr 23

Pinholes: Traveling through the Curtain of the Night (episode #17)

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Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #17

“What the hell is she doing here?” asked Snap, facing off against her employer and the terminally terrified Alice.

“She wouldn’t let go of Mrs. Bumblefrost!” said Doctor Portage McPeeve. “What was I supposed to do?”

The small blond woman continued to clutch the black kitten like a life line. “What’s happening to me?” she asked no one in particular, which was a good thing, because both scientists ignored her. This is it, she thought. The visions have finally driven me mad. She glanced at the glowing sphere that Portage had shoved her through, shivered, and whimpered slightly. She hugged Mrs. Bumblefrost more tightly; the kitten leaned into the woman’s neck and purred.

Snap glanced at the woman with a mixture of irritation and disdain. She knew she was supposed to call her employer ‘Doctor McPeeve’ at the office, but what the hell? “Damn it, Portage! You couldn’t have come up with a way to grab the cat without taking a hostage from another universe?”

“There wasn’t time-”

“Time?”

“Yes, time! I wasn’t sure how long it would be until another dimensional hole formed around Mrs. Bumblefrost, so I had to act fast.”

“And this is what you came up with?”

“I panicked, ok?” Portage sighed. He watched the frightened woman back away from the Gateway and the GM device. “It’s not that bad, lady; alright? I just needed to get my kitten here so she would be in her home universe and not create a tear in the universe around her. See what I mean? It’s simple!”

The woman nodded furiously. Clasping the small bundle of fur, she collapsed in a corner of the lab, pulled her knees to her chest, and sobbed quietly.

“Besides,” said Portage. “I didn’t want to just tear Mrs. Bumblefrost from her. She’s become quite attached to the woman in a short amount of time, and pulling her from the woman outright might be traumatic for her.”

Snap viewed the quivering woman. “Traumatic for Mrs. Bumblefrost?

Portage shrugged.

“What about the woman!” cried Snap. Alice was momentarily touched by her concern, before she continued, “Won’t a tear develop around her now that she’s in our universe? I mean, she is more massive-”

“Hey!” cried Alice, despite herself.

“No offense,” said Snap, “just more massive compared to a kitten; okay?”

The woman’s shoulders slumped.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Portage. “When I went through the Gateway, I calculated that someone of roughly our sizes would take at least fifteen minutes before a hole formed around them. She has plenty of time before she falls through-”

“Falls through?” cried the woman. “What-”

“It’s OK,” said Portage. “Just give me Mrs. Bumblefrost, and I’ll send you back to your home universe before that happens.”

“What will… what-”

“Look, you have a bit of time left, so relax. OK? The only way you’d fall through sooner is if your body had some sort of natural phase variation with-”

But he was talking to no one. The woman and Mrs. Bumblefrost had disappeared.

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholesnext Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

Apr 19

Author Interview: Helen A. Howell

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Author Helen Howell kindly agreed to an interview about her new ebook, ‘I Know You Know,’ published through Crooked Cat Publishing. She also frequently posts fiction to both Friday Flash and Tuesday Serial via her Helen Scribbles website.

Thank you, Helen, and congratulations on publishing ‘I Know You Know!’ I really enjoyed the book. I was hoping you would share some of your experience both writing and publishing. First of all, have you always wanted to write? If not, what motivated you?

Thanks Catherine and I’m glad you enjoyed reading the novella.

I think I might have liked the idea of writing, but inside I didn’t think I had what it took. But one day in 2010 I came across the BBC website called ‘Lets Write” or something like that and it said just write about anything. So I went for a walk that afternoon and came back and wrote a small piece about it. I sent that piece off to my author friend Scotti who was so encouraging about what I wrote, that it gave me the confidence to carry on. From that point on I embarked on writing Jumping At Shadows – I know quite a leap from not writing to jumping straight into a novel.  I interspersed  this task with writing short stories and then came across Friday Flash.  Writing Flash helped my writing skills improve far more quickly than I could believe.  Since starting out I now have two novellas out, three of my stories in various anthologies, various other pieces in online e-zines and some of my work showcased on blog fests of one sort or another. My story “I AM” won second prize in the people’s choice competition last year, run by The Were Traveler e-zine.  I think what I’m really saying here is don’t doubt yourself, just jump in and have a go. The more you write the better you hopefully become as you learn the skill of writing.

Do you have a writing routine?

I’m afraid I’m very undisciplined, and write all over the place. I write as and when I feel like it and that spans morning, afternoon and evening. Of course household tasks always get in the way. But when I’m not writing I’m thinking about writing. That is I might be thinking about the next chapter or story or micro fiction that I’m in the midst of. So my non writing time is really sorting out plots etc in my head.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Ah now that depends on what I am writing.  Novels etc. I write an outline and then plot each chapter, just the bare skeleton of it so that I know where I am heading. How I get there often surprises me as I often let the writing take me there in its own way.  If I’m writing flash sometimes I have a beginning, middle and end, and an idea how I am going to get there. Other times I just write and see where it leads me.  For example, my Friday Flash micro fiction serial, that is running at the moment, is based on a three word challenge each week. So from one week to the next I have no idea where the story is going. It all depends on the three words but somehow it all seems to hang together. ^_^

How important was word count in your decision to publish and did you find length a factor in marketing your work?

I did have to increase the original story by 6,000 words and was lucky enough to find a publisher that would publish a novella that only stood at 28,000 words. I really think that most stories need to be a fair bit longer. However in the case of I Know You Know, to lengthen it any more, I felt,  would have been to slow it down and lose the impact of the story. If I had not found a publisher willing to publish I would have self published it. Fortunately for me my publisher announced the book as part of a new category especially for shorter stories, called Crooked Cat Tales.

‘I Know You Know’ is your first ebook through Crooked Cat Publishing. How did that come about?

I had a fellow author friend who had had his book published by them and had also read I Know You Know in its original form.  He liked the story so much and felt that Crooked Cat would be interested in it.  So I submitted to them and the rest is history.

The plot of ‘I Know You Know’ is concerned largely with Tarot cards, which I understand is an interest of yours. Can you describe how you became interested in Tarot? How did that interest fuel your writing?

I’ve always been interested in mystical and magical things.  Tarot cards in themselves are not the magic, it’s the reader’s ability to interpret the cards that is the magic. I got my first deck way back in 1970′s – I still have it in its original box.  I studied the cards and became very familiar with them and eventually became a Professional Member of The Tarot Guild of Australia and also a Professional Reader – but I have retired from both the Guild and professional reading now.  I also was the co-author of the blog Tarot Notes Major and Minor which had and I believe still has a large readership.  I retired from being co-author of that blog in 2011 when I decided that I needed to concentrate on my fiction writing more. There’s only so many hours in a day. However I do still ‘Guest Post’ for that blog.

The Story of I Know You Know came about because as a tarot reader I know it is possible to see certain things about a person’s situation. I thought they would make an interesting medium for the story to be based around and one that was easy for me to work with as I have a strong knowledge of the card meanings.  I Know You Know was born from one idea. What if a tarot reader could see in the cards that one of her client’s was a serial killer and what if the serial killer suspected that she knew? How would that all play out?

Could you talk about the process of publishing through a small press like Crooked Cat? How was it different from when you published your first book, ‘Jumping at Shadows?

I think the main difference, at least for me, was the editing process. When you self publish you either employ an editor or put your work out to betas who do a really good job. But with publishing through a small press I got to work one on one with an editor, whose job was to make sure that the story was well rounded and had no plot holes.  I think working with just one person was an easier experience for me. One had the opportunity to go back and discuss certain aspects with their editor. Beta’s do a fabulous job, but more often than not you have three or more people’s perspective on you work and deciding which to follow and which not, can at times be challenging, whereas working with one person whose job is to edit was a really smooth process.

Of course when you go with a publisher they will do the formatting for you and help you choose an appropriate cover that enhances and echoes the story you have written.  But for me I have already self published and am fortunate enough to have a graphic designer as a husband who did my formatting and book cover for Jumping At Shadows – so truly the main difference for me going with a small press was the editing experience and the support given through the whole process.

You’ve also written several serials, which you’ve posted on your website. Could you describe your experiences?

I really like writing serials. I Know You Know started out its life as a serial on my blog.  Writing a serial can help you expand an idea into something more than a flash. One of my Serials Mind Noise started life out as a flash.  I find the whole process of writing something in episodes keeps you writing, it’s a sort of motivation and it’s easy when your word target is anywhere from 500-1300 words at a time.  The serial I’m showing at the moment is written in longer chapters and I just split these chapters up into three or four episodes at a time.

The other thing about writing a serial is that it is a good way to gauge whether you have something that is more viable for publishing. Your readers comments give you a first class eye view of how your story is being received. When all of them say they are enjoying it and can’t wait to see what happens, you know your writing is on the right track.

Do you have any plans to publish your serials or flash fiction in another form?

I think I may publish Wizard once I have finished writing it. Also Mind Noise I feel could be expanded into a novel. Both of these have met with good responses. I have thought about publishing a collection of my ghost stories, already people have said to me if I publish they will buy. Also maybe a collection of my  Gangster Noir Stories which always seem to get a very good review.

Are there things you know now that you didn’t know before, or things you wished you knew when you started?

Oh yes of course!  Things that you learn as you learn the skill of writing,  like how not to use dialogue tags unless absolutely necessary and then if you have to use a tag, just use said to tag that dialogue.  How to not use more words than necessary when writing. Exclamation points, you can always tell a new writer by the amount of exclamation points I think.  Don’t overuse adverbs with ly on the end etc.  All these little rules would have been wonderful to know when I started. ^_^

Something that I wish I had known from the very start is that when you write something of length anyway, put it away for a short while and then come back with fresh eyes and edit, instead of trying to do it straight away. That break allows you to see it all from a different perspective. But like all things one has to learn to do this.

Any advice for writers looking to publish?

I think my only advice is make sure the work that you are submitting has been thoroughly edited and is as polished as it can be.

Please let us know where else we can find your work.

 IKYK-cover.jpg 2
The darkest cards in the tarot deck reveal the darkest side of the man sitting opposite Janice—Mr. Edgar Kipp.
She feigns an inability to read for him, but will he believe her?  His parting words indicate that he knows she knows he’s a serial killer. And he plans to return.
The voice of her dead grandmother urges her to be careful, warning Janice she might be seeing her own future in those foreboding cards.
But Janice doesn’t want to listen. Gran’s dead.
How can she possibly help her?
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I Know you Know is available in both e-book and paperback from Amazon.com and UK. E-books can also be purchased from Crooked Cat Books and Smashwords.
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Master copy Jumping-at-Shadows-cover

My other novella Jumping At Shadows – is available from Smashwords

Once again, thank you for consenting to this interview. I know I’ve enjoyed your fiction online and the new book was just as wonderful. I recommend it for a quick, pleasurable read.

Thank you Catherine for inviting me over, I’ve enjoyed our chat.

Apr 16

Pinholes: Traveling through the Curtain of the Night (episode #16)

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 Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #16

Meanwhile, in another universe-

Portage put his hands up and waved them in the air, shushing loudly. “It’s okay! It’s okay! I don’t mean you any harm. I just came for her.” He nodded at the small ball of fur the woman clutched to her chest.

Alice backed away, the kitten cradled in her arms. “How the hell did you get in here?” she cried. “I didn’t let you in. I didn’t hear the door-” She glanced at the large, mahogany door to her apartment. All the interior locks and bolts were still engaged. “What did you do? Who are you?”

“I’m just this guy,” said Doctor Portage McPeeve, advancing slowly, arms outstretched. “I don’t mean you any harm; ok? All I want is Mrs. Bumblefrost.”

“You don’t mean me any harm?” Alice backed further away, knocking over several canvases. “You broke into my home to steal my cat.”

Portage sighed. He knew Mrs. Bumblefrost had only just materialized outside the woman’s window moments earlier, but she didn’t know that. From her perspective, he was the one who had appeared from nowhere. And I have to keep telling her I’m harmless, he thought. What kind of super villain does that? Still, instinct told him to tread carefully; Mrs. Bumblefrost’s safety was of primary importance. So, fine. He’d soothe the idiotic woman.

Still, why was the kitten drawn to her? What about this spot in this particular alternate universe had attracted Mrs. Bumblefrost? Was it ghosts? Vampires? Would the woman turn out to be some sort of blood sucking freak?

All the more reason to get his kitten back as soon as possible. Who knew what was wrong with her?

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholesnext Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

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