During the holidays, people love to keep up family traditions and share them with those they love. Too often, though, we seem to get caught up in the tradition instead of what the holiday is actually about. Everyone knows that, but sometimes it’s easy to forget. If a tradition gets in the way of family and friends, then it’s time to come up with something new.
Ever since I was a little girl, my family ate a great big turkey on Thanksgiving, and we exchanged gifts on Christmas. When I went vegan in my late twenties, people would ask me questions like “What are you going to do for Thanksgiving? Christmas?” When I answered that I would be making Dish X for the holidays, I would get mixed reactions of shock and amazement. All too often I would hear comments about how it wasn’t Thanksgiving without a turkey. As if the important thing was sitting down at a table around a dead bird and picking the carcass.
We’ve tried different strategies for the holidays, and we try to be considerate of the people we’re spending them with. So sometimes we’ll invite someone over to our house for a Vegan Thanksgiving dinner, and sometimes we’ll eat alone and then go out afterwards. But no matter what we do, we always have a good time. We started a new tradition several years ago for Thanksgiving where we would sponsor a rescued turkey from Farm Sanctuary. On the fateful Thursday, we would have his or her photo on our table as the centerpiece. We would pile all the delicious vegan dishes around it, from Roasted Root Veggies with a Phyllo dough crust and balsamic maple sauce to the sweet potato pie and (vegan) Cornish pasties. We’d eat until we were stuffed and sleepy and almost always left the dishes for later.
Another holiday tradition that we’ve enjoyed involves the “Thankful Turkey.” We create a poster of a turkey without the tail feathers. Then, at mealtimes throughout the month of November, we’d each write something we’re thankful for on a paper feather and tape it to his tail. By Thanksgiving day, he’d be covered in colorful feathers. We’ve always enjoyed watching his tail grow.

This year, we were especially fortunate to be invited by my inlaws to have a completely vegan Thanksgiving at their new home. My mother in law is an omnivore, but she looked up recipes, consulted, and cooked a fabulous feast that we all enjoyed. Afterwards, she shared the recipe for the Seiten turkey and gravy that she found, and she raved about how it was so simple and easy. I brought the apple pie and soy vanilla ice cream for dessert. Everyone left the table pleasantly stuffed, and a good time was had by all.

For Christmas we have the usual tradition, but when it comes to gift giving, well – we try. The truth is that we’re rotten at giving people gifts. Even when I think that I’m getting someone the perfect thing, it almost always turns out to be wrong in some way. Enter our life saver – the gift card! Easy to mail, easy to pick out, easy to spend. I know it’s not as flashy or personal as something wrapped in a shiny box with a big bow, but what are you going to do? Some may argue it’s lazy, but I say that if you can’t pick a good present for someone after thirty something years, then go for it. Who wouldn’t like to go on a free spending spree?
Again, the tradition of giving gifts is not what the holiday is about. But we try to keep up the traditions that make everyone happy. Still, if someone asks for you to not buy a gift, I humbly suggest you listen to them. Respect their word. If you really feel the need, you can bring them something tasty you baked. If you’re strapped for cash, you can always give them a gift certificate for your time. Maybe something along the lines of “Good for one brownie baking session.”
I think it’s important to remember that traditions are about bringing people together and making them happy. If a tradition is divisive or stressful, it’s time to try something new. Above all, enjoy yourselves by doing something nice for someone else this holiday season, even if it’s just telling someone “Happy Holiday!”