Ganymeder

Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Interlude: Origin Point

The outcast gazed down the hall with trepidation. As in dreams, the walls narrowed and the corridor elongated, lined with fellow students, few of whom he considered his compatriots. His nemesis stood halfway between him and his shop class, surrounded by his cronies.

The teen hugged his books to his chest, narrowed his gaze to the floor directly beneath his feet, and moved forward. He could walk past unnoticed while the other boy sipped from the old fashioned metal water fountain. Other teens lounged around the corridor, watching him. A girl waited nearby, chewing on one of her long blond ponytails, but all the teen saw were her size seven bowling shoes.

He was almost past.

“Hey, Brainiac,” called the voice he’d dreaded hearing, “Off to shop, I see, with the other dumb jocks.”

The gangly youth’s only sport was bowling, but he wasn’t about to argue.

“Cut it out, Portage, ” said the blonde next to him. “Leave him alone.”

The bully looked at the girl, then the lone man standing at the end of the hall; the man said nothing, just stood quietly with folded arms, watching the exchange.

His nemesis paused and, after a second glance at the adult, resumed his taunts. “No,” he said, “no, I don’t think so. I mean, just because he managed to get in on some sort of pity program, doesn’t mean he really belongs at Brainiac High. Did his mother invent anything noteworthy? Has his father contributed anything to science?”

“I just want to get to class, ” said the other teen. “I don’t want any trouble.” He glanced from his antagonist to the girl.

She gazed anxiously down the hall at the silent adult. “Portage…”

“Listen, I’m sorry the other shop guys called you, uh… by your initials-”

The villain’s eyes narrowed. “Those are NOT my initials. My last name is McPeeve.”

“Portage,” said the girl, “just because your middle name is Mac-”

“I mean,” said the teen, “P.P. isn’t the same as pee-PEE. I mean, what about P squared? Or, uh…” The bully’s eyes followed those of the girl and found the man again. An almost imperceptible nod from the adult drew a sigh from the contentious youth. “Dammit, Dad,” he cursed, then shook his head.

One of his minions stepped forward and, before either startled teen could react, shoved the outcast’s head into the fountain’s battered metal spigot. “Take that, Shop-boy.”

Bone shattered as his face crashed into the steel valve, sending the nozzle sliding across the hall. Water sprayed across the floor, turning the linoleum pink with the boy’s diluted blood.

The injured teen blacked out. He missed Portage’s pained look as he gazed down at the teen’s unconscious body. He missed the small grin that flickered across the face of Mr. McPeeve, the school’s physics teacher, before the man pulled out his cell and phoned the ambulance.

#

The room slowly swam into focus; white walls, white sheets, and the white coat of the doctor were illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the hospital room’s lone window. Voices grew louder and more distinct as he swam his way up through murky depths. “…and with advances in facial reconstruction…. of course, for… … dental work.”

His head felt like it would explode. He tried to move his jaw to speak, but pain flared sudden and violent. The last thing he saw before blacking out was the symbol of a hammer in a clenched fist, the emblem of mighty Hephaestus, embroidered on his shop teacher’s hat.

What he wouldn’t have given for the strength of the god and the tools to protect himself. Heck, not just himself but all who needed protection from evildoers. Unable to speak, he silently vowed to acquire them, so as never to be at someone else’s mercy again.

Then he passed out.
.

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholesnext Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

 Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #18

From his vantage point in the closet, Hephaestus – hero of the city, protector of the innocent – peered at the distraught man in the lab coat. The man wouldn’t stop screaming. This posed a problem for Hephaestus, not only because he had sworn to come to the aid of those in need – or in this case extreme distress – but because sound carried quite well through the slits in the closet’s wooden door. He had thought it an advantage when the woman had pushed him inside; actually he had hoped she had something else in mind, but – boyhood fantasies aside – he had thought it an excellent survelleince spot. He could see through the slits and listen without fear of discovery. However, Doctor Portage McPeeve’s voice now burrowed into his brain like splinters. He wanted to scream himself.

Ms. Snap Decision, on the other hand, was as cool and composed as a minion could be under the circumstances. She slapped her employer across the face, leaving the red imprint of her hand on his cheek. “Snap out of it!” she said.

He stopped screaming and looked at her blankly. “Snap! What the hell happened?”

Villains, thought Hephaestus, Always with the potty mouths. He mused on the fact that Snap also had a more extensive vocabulary than he was used to, but it certainly wasn’t her fault. Being exploited by her employer was bound to have bad linquistic consequences. Soon she would ally herself with Hephaestus, help him save the world (or worlds in this case, he still wasn’t quite sure about the whole concept), and her language would clean up considerably. He envisioned her in a cape and tights again.

“Portage!”

The scientist looked at her blankly.

“Portage, what happened? Doctor McPeeve!”

His eyes seemed to focus on his assistant, their wild light momentarily dimmed, then he turned to the softly glowing sphere. “You were looking that way,” he said. “Did you see her go through it?”

“No,” said Snap. “I was looking at you.” Color rose to her cheeks. “But I doubt she could have jumped through the Gateway without me seeing her, even though your back was turned.”

“I was grabbing a cookie for Mrs. Bumblefrost!”

“Baked goods not withstanding,” continued Snap, “I think she disappeared.”

“But she still had time left! There was more than enough time before-”

“But how do you know?” asked his minion. “I mean, maybe time passes differently in her universe or-”

Portage paused to regard his companion with beneficent condescension. “No, Ms. Decision, time passes… wait.” He stopped, running his hand through his scraggly hair. “What if she had a pre-disposition for traveling to other universes?”

This time it was Snap’s turn to be puzzled. “Huh?”

“We’ve noticed that Mrs. Bumblefrost is attracted to… well, let’s say strange-”

“You mean, supernatural-”

“There’s no such thing as something outside nature!” He took in her pursed lips and said, “Fine, she keeps falling through dimensional holes into situations that feature persons with what appears to be supernatural abilities or something that appears to be supernatural happening to them; right?”

Snap nodded, arms crossed.

“What if that is what happened with the woman? What if she’s somehow pre-disposed to hyper-dimensional travel? At least on some level?”

“I suppose it’s possible,” said Snap. “I mean, Mrs. Bumblefrost kept falling through holes in the universe-”

“Holes in alternate universes, universes that she didn’t belong in, so – because her genetic pattern didn’t match, she fell through… well, thin spots in the space-time of the multi-verse.”

“But you didn’t when you chased her,” Snap pointed out.

“But I would have if I had stayed long enough,” said the good doctor. “But that woman, out of her own universe, did not take as long to slip through. Mrs. Bumblefrost, who seems to have a knack for finding the ‘supernatural‘-” Portage drew scare quotes in the air around the word with his fingers. “There must be some sort of clue as to what drew Mrs. Bumblefrost to her.”

“Where would we-”

They both stopped and looked at the sphere.

“Her apartment was filled with paintings and sketches. There must be some clues there.”

“I’ll man the Gateway for you, Doctor.”

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #17

“What the hell is she doing here?” asked Snap, facing off against her employer and the terminally terrified Alice.

“She wouldn’t let go of Mrs. Bumblefrost!” said Doctor Portage McPeeve. “What was I supposed to do?”

The small blond woman continued to clutch the black kitten like a life line. “What’s happening to me?” she asked no one in particular, which was a good thing, because both scientists ignored her. This is it, she thought. The visions have finally driven me mad. She glanced at the glowing sphere that Portage had shoved her through, shivered, and whimpered slightly. She hugged Mrs. Bumblefrost more tightly; the kitten leaned into the woman’s neck and purred.

Snap glanced at the woman with a mixture of irritation and disdain. She knew she was supposed to call her employer ‘Doctor McPeeve’ at the office, but what the hell? “Damn it, Portage! You couldn’t have come up with a way to grab the cat without taking a hostage from another universe?”

“There wasn’t time-”

“Time?”

“Yes, time! I wasn’t sure how long it would be until another dimensional hole formed around Mrs. Bumblefrost, so I had to act fast.”

“And this is what you came up with?”

“I panicked, ok?” Portage sighed. He watched the frightened woman back away from the Gateway and the GM device. “It’s not that bad, lady; alright? I just needed to get my kitten here so she would be in her home universe and not create a tear in the universe around her. See what I mean? It’s simple!”

The woman nodded furiously. Clasping the small bundle of fur, she collapsed in a corner of the lab, pulled her knees to her chest, and sobbed quietly.

“Besides,” said Portage. “I didn’t want to just tear Mrs. Bumblefrost from her. She’s become quite attached to the woman in a short amount of time, and pulling her from the woman outright might be traumatic for her.”

Snap viewed the quivering woman. “Traumatic for Mrs. Bumblefrost?”

Portage shrugged.

“What about the woman!” cried Snap. Alice was momentarily touched by her concern, before she continued, “Won’t a tear develop around her now that she’s in our universe? I mean, she is more massive-”

“Hey!” cried Alice, despite herself.

“No offense,” said Snap, “just more massive compared to a kitten; okay?”

The woman’s shoulders slumped.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Portage. “When I went through the Gateway, I calculated that someone of roughly our sizes would take at least fifteen minutes before a hole formed around them. She has plenty of time before she falls through-”

“Falls through?” cried the woman. “What-”

“It’s OK,” said Portage. “Just give me Mrs. Bumblefrost, and I’ll send you back to your home universe before that happens.”

“What will… what-”

“Look, you have a bit of time left, so relax. OK? The only way you’d fall through sooner is if your body had some sort of natural phase variation with-”

But he was talking to no one. The woman and Mrs. Bumblefrost had disappeared.

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholesnext Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

 Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule allthe worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #16

Meanwhile, in another universe-

Portage put his hands up and waved them in the air, shushing loudly. “It’s okay! It’s okay! I don’t mean you any harm. I just came for her.” He nodded at the small ball of fur the woman clutched to her chest.

Alice backed away, the kitten cradled in her arms. “How the hell did you get in here?” she cried. “I didn’t let you in. I didn’t hear the door-” She glanced at the large, mahogany door to her apartment. All the interior locks and bolts were still engaged. “What did you do? Who are you?”

“I’m just this guy,” said Doctor Portage McPeeve, advancing slowly, arms outstretched. “I don’t mean you any harm; ok? All I want is Mrs. Bumblefrost.”

“You don’t mean me any harm?” Alice backed further away, knocking over several canvases. “You broke into my home to steal my cat.”

Portage sighed. He knew Mrs. Bumblefrost had only just materialized outside the woman’s window moments earlier, but she didn’t know that. From her perspective, he was the one who had appeared from nowhere. And I have to keep telling her I’m harmless, he thought. What kind of super villain does that? Still, instinct told him to tread carefully; Mrs. Bumblefrost’s safety was of primary importance. So, fine. He’d soothe the idiotic woman.

Still, why was the kitten drawn to her? What about this spot in this particular alternate universe had attracted Mrs. Bumblefrost? Was it ghosts? Vampires? Would the woman turn out to be some sort of blood sucking freak?

All the more reason to get his kitten back as soon as possible. Who knew what was wrong with her?

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholesnext Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule all the worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #15

Now, thought the hero to himself, Time to seize the day!

“Excuse me, Miss,” said Hephaestus. He approached her from behind, reaching out to tap her gently on the shoulder. Even brilliant scientists could be easily startled. “I couldn’t help noticing-”

Snap Decision turned around and kicked the hero in the face with one of her sensible black shoes, crying, “Keeeeeyah!” Her self-defense teacher would have been proud.

“What the hell- ah, HECK, are you doing, woman?” cried Hephaestus. “Now, listen, Miss. I don’t want to hurt you-”

The other sensible shoe kicked him in his manly bits. That time, it took even more willpower to restrain himself from unmannerly remarks. He managed, through gritted teeth, “I just want to talk-”

“I don’t talk to strangers,” said Snap, straightening her lab coat and glaring through her thick lensed glasses. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to talk to strangers? I don’t talk to strange men.”

“But I’m not a stra-”

Snap stopped and made a point of staring at his outfit. “Really? ‘Cause the red cape kind of clashes with your overalls…”

Hephaestus, from his fetal position on the floor, looked up at his attacker. He’d barely restrained himself from cupping his groin in his hands; he was in the presence of a lady, even if she was the reason for the blinding pain he now felt. Instead, he massaged the jaw she had kicked so expertly. His cheeks flushed.

“Well, I am color blind,” he squeaked.

“Are you fashion blind as well?” She put her weight on her back leg, cupped her chin in her hand, and surveyed the hero as he struggled to get up from the floor. His orange apron sported many hard and sharp implements, but he didn’t look menacing. In fact, he looked more like a kid that couldn’t decide what he wanted to pretend to play as – a super hero with a red cape, or a construction worker. She watched him grab his sun-yellow hard hat from the floor and put it on.

“You look like a cross between Superman and one of the Village People.”

Sniffing, he wiped blood from his mouth and straightened his tool belt. At least she complimented me, he thought, bending to pick up one of his fallen wrenches. I’ve always loved that YMCA song.

“OK,” said Snap, smiling despite herself as she watched him straighten up. It was hard to take him seriously in that outfit, though working with super villains had exposed her to plenty of ridiculous situations. That’s how they get you to lower your defenses, she thought. By looking stupid. Well, except for Portage. Her temper steamed at the thought of her employer’s latest escapade.

“I guess you don’t look too dangerous,” she said, picking up a beaker of acid from the steel table; it never hurt to be cautious. “But why the hell are you here?”

“I just…” Hephaestus eyed the beaker in Snap’s hand. “I… Could you put that down, please? You’re making me nervous.”

“I’m making YOU nervous?” Snap laughed. “Here I am, with a highly volatile and important experiment, and a stranger just walks-

“-I jumped actually.”

“-not helping, buddy! JUMPS into our supposedly secure lab. How nervous do you think I am? Want to take a guess?” She backed away – or rather sideways – further from both the hero and the glowing sphere.

“But see, that’s why I’m here. I’ve been watching you-”

“You’re a peeping Tom?” Snap’s eyes widened, then narrowed to slits. “I take it back. You don’t look harmless. You’re a pathetic creep. You’d better-”

“I know about the device.” He glanced at the machine, then the sphere.

Snap stopped mid-chastisement. Her mouth worked, open and shut, like a fish, until she finally managed, “Are you BLACKMAILING us?” She sniffed. “So instead of a Peeping Tom, you’re a blackmailer. How, exactly, is that an improvement?”

“No, no, no, this is going all wrong. How could I… Listen, I have a proposition for you.”

Snap stood, hands on hips, lips pursed. “I’m listening.”

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule all the worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #14

The scientist, Doctor Portage McPeeve, made the final adjustments on the machine, and the glowing sphere crackled once more to life. “Ready?” he asked his minion.

Snap Decision dutifully nodded her head, her glasses reflecting electric fire.

Soon the sphere stabilized to a round orb that shone softly against the laboratory’s fluorescent lighting. The link between worlds had been established. Peering through the portal, they gazed into another world.

#

Alice threw another glob of red paint at the canvas. The brilliance of a Martian sunset failed to be captured by her efforts, no matter how hard she tried. Yet she had to keep trying, otherwise the visions would keep haunting her. She knew this from experience.

“What am I going to do?” she asked Mr. Tweedledee. The naming of her cat – or rather the sculpture of a cat she kept near her workspace – like so many things throughout her life, was inspired by Lewis Carroll’s famous creations. She hadn’t planned things this way; it’s just what happened. It was what always happened. Everyone she knew thought the literary allusions were as clever as could be, but over the years she had grown to loath those books.

Both Alice and Through the Looking Glass had thrilled her as a child. Her mother’s lasting gift had been the name of her own favorite character. The grown Alice still remembered how her mother had read the books to her each night, sending her off to dream of Wonderland before the she left her daughter behind forever.

Now, poor Alice was doomed to a life of literary humor, the butt of every joke. Even her art was not immune. When people saw her signature, they immediately looked for a reference. It was maddening.

She stood back and surveyed her own creation. What haunted her mind’s eye and what stained the canvas before her bore little relation to each other. That was her other curse. Her future memories refused to let themselves be copied in any real, physical way without a painstaking amount of work; in the meantime, she couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t walk down the street without the visions distracting her from her present circumstances. Her mind lived everywhere else, like a white rabbit that led her down…

Dammit. Another Lewis Carroll reference.

She surveyed the works she had created; their sales would keep her financially afloat for at least another month. Lauded as a ‘creative genius’ by others, she alone knew her canvases poorly reflected the visions that inspired them. If she improved them after days or weeks of labor, those visions would vanish. True, each was replaced by another, but the brief respites made the whole process bearable.

Still, she confined herself to her home for the sake of safety. Meals were easy; even grocery stores delivered nowadays. She had attempted to have companionship delivered too, but pet stores and rescues refused to bring cats, dogs, or even goldfish to her studio apartment.

The vision gripped her again. She grabbed the kitchen counter for support; her other hand flew to her forehead. Her eyes rolled back. She saw-

The sky blazed crimson fire. She sailed across red sands on a hover car. From behind the driver’s seat, she watched her companion’s hair fly behind him. In the distance, a translucent domed structure appeared, its insides covered with vines. She recognized it instinctively as home.

She blinked, shook, and was back in her apartment again. When would she go to Mars? The tickets were light years from her price range, even if she managed to leave her apartment with her condition. What if she had an episode and fell from the speeder?

Could this mean she would be cured?

A cat, with fur the color of coal, sat on the fire escape outside her window and scratched the glass. The pane had fogged on the inside, and she rushed to lift the frame. “Oh, you poor little thing!” she cried, straining against the wood until the paint, seared to the sill by time and temperature, finally broke free. A gust of cold air rushed inside. “You must be freezing!”

The kitten jumped into the room, and Alice closed the window. Pulling her thick cotton robe closer, she watched the cat hop onto a counter and sniff her art supplies. It batted a colored pencil with one tiny paw. She picked the animal up, cradling it in her arms. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Mrs. Bumblefrost,” said the strange man in the white coat.

She screamed.

#

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

 Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule all the worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #13

Hephaestus marked how Snap Decision always seemed to keep her head – despite her employer’s increasingly erratic antics. He noted the blood that had risen to her cheeks, their rosy glow, the way she gestured with her slender hands, and the flattering manner in which her lab coat clung to her wiry frame. The sphere’s glow set the lenses of her glasses alight, and he admired the way she chewed on her ponytails; an enchanting, if slightly unsanitary, habit. When she cleaned the crumbs from her employer’s coat, Hephaestus had – not for the first time in his life – envied an article of clothing.

Hephaestus thought about his options. Her villainous employer, given his previous behavior, seemed likely to hop from universe to universe by way of the Gateway he’d created; perhaps the hero could take advantage of one of McPeeve’s impulsive absences. Hephaestus would approach Ms. Decision, reason with her, and gain her assistance. He wasn’t about to let a failed semester of debate deter him from his fantasy. She seemed a sensible woman, and the other scientist didn’t appreciate her full potential.

In his mind’s eye, Hephaestus visualized himself sweeping down from the roof of the laboratory to rescue Ms. Decision from the life of drudgery her employer had forced upon her. He would explain how Doctor Portage McPeeve was a born villain, how his plan must have dastardly and disasterous consequences as a result of said villainy, and she would be only too happy to help defeat her vile and loathsome oppressor. He smiled at the thought.

Maybe she would become a hero herself! The grin of the super hero, Hephaestus, grew wider. None of that minion or sidekick nonsense. She was smart, capable, and attractive enough to pull off a cape and tights – the perfect heroic companion.

Hephaestus could hardly wait for the good doctor to run off again. If Snap became his ally, there would be no limit to the good they’d do. The super sighed, imagining her by his side, fighting villainy in tight-fitting spandex and gnawing on her long, blond ponytails.

What a team they’d make!

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholesnext Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule all the worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #12

“What the hell were you thinking?” Snap asked again. Frankly, she was sick of repeating the question. “What possible good would it do you to get stabbed by one of those maniacs!”

“No good at all.” Portage put his lab coat back on. Once again in the familiar attire of his work, his lifestyle, his life, the scientist resumed spouting his interior monologue. ”There was no reason for me to miss her; she should have been right there.” As he paced before his assistant, his soaked loafers made unappealing squelching sounds on the laboratory floor.

“Portage,” Snap said; then at a look from the good Doctor she recanted. “Doctor McPeeve, what good would it have done – did it do – to risk your life like that? For a cat?”

Her employer looked at her, utterly shocked. “Next thing you’ll be telling me is you’re a dog person.”

Snap crossed her arms, pursed her lips, and said nothing.

“Oh, now I know that isn’t true! You never mentioned-”

“I don’t make an issue out of it, because I know your preferences.”

“Well, what… I can’t…” Doctor Portage McPeeve stuttered in the face of his frowning assistant.

“Aren’t you missing the point?” asked Snap. “What good does it do?”

“But she should have been there!” said Portage, resentment burning bright. “She was too small to get out of the crate, she couldn’t have fit through one of the holes, and…” He looked up. “Holes.”

“Whole what?” asked Snap.

“Holes in the fabric of space-time.”

Snap stared.

“Don’t you get it? She’s from an alternate universe, our alternate universe… Maybe, I mean I’d have to do tests, but maybe – well, the longer she’s away from here, from her “home” universe, the fabric develops tears around her… holes. Maybe she did slip through a hole!”

Snap’s eyes widened. “Oh my goodness, I think you’re on to something. What you said before about-”

“Of course, I’m on to something,” said Portage, straightening and forcing himself to wear his most fantastic grin. “I’m a genius, after all.”

“OK, genius,” said Snap, grabbing a napkin and wiping vigorously at Portage’s lab coat. “Maybe you should get those crumbs off your clothes before we tackle another universe. Do you think you can keep tracking where she’s going? Where will she be next?”

“I think I can make reasonable calculations as to her whereabouts,” said Portage. “I just hope we get there in time, before she disappears again.”

“Well, change into dry shoes first,” said Snap, grabbing a mop for the wet floor. Then almost as an afterthought, she added, “And this time, no killer ninjas!”

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule all the worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #11

The scientist, Doctor Portage McPeeve, made the final adjustments on the machine, and the glowing sphere crackled once more to life. “Ready?” he asked his minion.

Snap Decision dutifully nodded her head, her glasses reflecting electric fire.

Soon the sphere stabilized to a round orb that shone softly against the laboratory’s fluorescent lighting. The link between worlds had been established. Peering through the portal, they gazed into another world.

#

The black clad warriors sized each other up, appraising strengths and weaknesses. The war between their clans had lasted centuries, generation upon generation brought up in mutual hate and detestation. However, a code of honor bound them both. Years of dedication, of training in deadly martial arts, of schooling in the ways of the warrior, had led them all to this moment.

Both sides knew they would be victorious, secure in the knowledge of their own moral superiority.

Slowly, the warriors drew their weapons; flaming silver flashed in the narrow beams of sunlight that streamed into the alley’s narrow opening. The small black kitten by the dumpster paused from licking its white paws to study the bright lights with interest.

The largest of the warriors by the alley’s entrance ceased baring her teeth at her foes, strolled over, picked up the small kitten, and deposited the animal inside a nearby crate. She pushed it to a place of relative safety behind the dumpster. She returned to her compatriots and resumed posturing.

“Just like a Spermacetti,” sneered her foes on the opposite side of the alley. “Falling over themselves over inconsequential lifeforms.” Though their mannerisms and attire were similar, the Ambergris clan could not have considered themselves more different.

“And just like an Ambergrisian,” retorted the leader of the Spermacetti ninjas, “to ignore the intrinsic value of all living things, no matter the size.” She smiled, but it was hard to see through the black material covering her face. All that was discernible was the tightening of the material over her cheeks and the crinkling around her eyes. “Now, die like the fiends you are!”

The Spermacetti clan surged forward like a great wave, swords flashing like fire in the intermittant darkness of the alley. The Amergrisians rushed to meet their enemies in a mighty clash of steel, blood, and cold, hard hatred.

None noticed the thin, awkward man with the runaway hair creeping behind the dumpsters that lined the brick and mortared wall of the alley. He had removed his white lab coat, revealing the darker clothing he wore beneath: a sweater knitted for him by his assistant the previous Christmas, dark brown dockers that he had been told matched his eyes (by that same assistant), and a set of worn loafers that splashed inconveniently in the puddles that filled every pothole he stepped in. He winced at each splash, but luckily for him both clans were occupied with killing each other.

When he made it to the dumpster, he heaved an enormous sigh of relief. Bending down behind the large metal bin, he lifted the crate, looked inside, and then dropped the container with a sound of such forelorn wretchedness that the battling killers paused in their massacre. After noting the stranger, his attire, and his expression, they went back to killing each other.

His appearance may have been a mystery, but they had bigger fish to fry.

Soon the heart-broken scientist – had any of the assassins cared to look – could be seen turning up debris, examining the underside of the enormous metal tins, and even looking through crumbling holes in the brick wall lining the alley. With an exasperated sigh, he turned and disappeared.

The ninjas continued their battle, and the spirits of dead warriors soon filled the alley like a sword filled a scabbard.

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.

Synopsis:

The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.

He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule all the worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.

Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?

Episode #10

Once he returned to his surveillance spot on the laboratory’s roof, Hephaestus adjusted his cape over his overalls and settled into his newly assembled camping chair. Experience is the best teacher, he thought. With his workspace properly organized, he lay back with the chair’s canopy shading his eyes and peered at the two scientists through the building’s upper window. Whatever dastardly deeds they were planning needed to be foiled.

They were arguing again. During his drive back, the hero had tried to follow their conversation via audio equipment, but traffic distracted him. Apparently Mrs. Bumblefrost was – of all things! – a cat, and she had been spotted again. All this commotion over a cat? He shook his head and continued to monitor the situation below.

“I should have gone after her,” said Doctor Portage McPeeve.

Hephaestus mused on the villain’s unimpressive name. Why couldn’t his nemesis have a more imposing moniker? Doctor… He thought Well, Doctor Something-Pretty-Darned-Impressive-that’s-for-sure. Hephaestus had chosen to name himself after an Olympian god, the mighty craftsman who forged bolts of fearsome lightning, a name calculated to strike fear and terror into the hearts of evil doers everywhere. He sighed at the villain’s lack of reciprocity. Was it too much to ask that his nemesis have an equally imposing title? Whatever happened to professional courtesy?

Well, Hephaestus mused, I suppose that’s villainy, for you. Lack of manners. After all, bullies never say please when they shove you in the water fountain.

The hero’s features darkened at the memory. No, they certainly did not. Grade school had been a torment to him, first as a gawky lad in elementary school and later – as hormones cruelly set in – as a pimpled, gangly teen who couldn’t get a date to save his life. In college, he had taken refuge in his studies, though he hadn’t progressed as far in advanced physics as the notorious Portage McPeeve or his attractive  friend, Snap Decision. Instead, the would-be hero had struggled with theoretical concepts but did very well in other physics and engineering classes. What fascinated him most was the practical application of scientific principles – not only in advanced machinery but in simple tools like levers. In fact, he preferred the simple elegance of tools uncluttered by electronics. He enjoyed using his muscles, and he was a wizard with a wrench.

#

“Are you crazy?” cried Snap, snatching the chocolate chip cookie from Portage’s shaking fingers. “Gone after her?” She shot a crazed look at the glowing sphere that had revealed Mrs. Bumblefrost’s latest location in the multi-verse. “You saw that thing; right?”

“Of course, I did!” said Portage, grabbing another cookie from the steaming cookie sheet. Snap always baked when she was nervous, and he was going to take full advantage. Besides, they calmed his nerves. He brought shaking fingers to his lips and took an enormous bite of the chunky confection. “That’s why I should have gone! What if that, that, that-”

“Vampire?” answered Snap.

Portage stopped masticating. Little crumbs fell from his mouth as he answered. “NOT a vampire. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“What then?” continued his assistant, refusing to let him avoid confronting reality. “The guy had fangs, bit the woman, killed her, then left.”

“Psychopath,” said Doctor Portage McPeeve. “There’s no need for a supernatural element. It’s just as likely that he’s familiar with vampire lore – as is evidenced by the rest of what we’ve seen of that world, it’s fairly common. Even if it isn’t, he could be acting out some weird fantasy. People in this world do it; doesn’t mean there are such things as supernatural creatures sucking blood to prolong their lives. In fact, the term ‘supernatural’ makes no sense. There is nothing outside the natural, physical laws of the universe!” The floor around him was littered with crumbs.

“Yes, but this is a different universe; isn’t it?” countered the woman.

The scientist, Portage McPeeve, said nothing. They were all different universes. He was remembering the previous encounter that they’d witnessed, a set of ghostly limbs that had possessed their former owner. That, too, had been another alternate universe. And before that there had been the mummy, which he had chalked up to special effects, but Mrs. Bumblefrost had fallen through to that scene as well.

Could the kitten have a sixth sense for allegedly ‘supernatural’ phenomena? What was the common element? Could she be attracted to ectoplasm, the substance hypothesized to be created by spirits to effect the world of the living?

For all Portage knew, she could simply be attracted to the bandages. The mummy had been wrapped and then unwrapped. The amputee was recovering and had bandaged stumps. Was it the cloth, some chemical element common to the supposedly ‘supernatural’ beings they’d observed, or something else entirely?

**All episodes listed here.

**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.