The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.
He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule all the worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.
Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?
The superhero, Hephaestus – scourge of the wicked, fighter of evil doers, and foe of the unjust, watched as Ms. Snap Decision made the final adjustments on the machine, and the glowing sphere crackled to life once more. “Ready?” he asked his new partner, former minion of the nefarious Doctor Portage McPeeve.
Snap Decision dutifully nodded her head, glasses alight with the sphere’s electric fire.
Soon the sphere’s light stabilized to a round orb that shone softly against the laboratory’s fluorescent lighting. The link between worlds had been established. Peering through the light, they gazed into another world.
The young woman set the consecrated offering upon the stone altar, then kneeled before the enormous golden statue. Her emerald green eyes had been the long-awaited sign; the prophecy foretold that such a one would kneel in the presence of the goddess and receive her wisdom. Bathed in almond oil, hair plaited into golden braids, whitest linen draped across her slight body, she prepared for the holy vision.
The sacred text was the only remnant left behind from the time before the mighty Exodus, when the holy ones had abandoned their world, leaving their followers to fend for themselves.
Clearing her throat, she turned her reverential gaze to the slitted eyes set within the idol’s beautiful face. “Oh, solitary goddess,” she intoned. “She of moon and light and darkness, with eyes the color of purest emerald, show me your will. If you find me worthy, grace me with your presence so that I might guide others by exemplifying the ways of the feline.”
From behind the idol, a small kitten walked with her tail swinging lazily in the air. She looked at the woman through familiar emerald eyes, sniffed the air, then pounced upon the bowl of offal, spilling it across the altar. Isis watched in amazement. The kitten dipped her small pink nose delicately towards the spilled contents, then pulled back in disgust. She glared at the priestess.
Had the sacred texts been wrong? Isis withered under that penetrating stare, scrutinized by the goddess. She wished she were not alone. Other acolytes, windows, hell- even a security camera would be comforting! But alone with that icy glare…
“Oh, mighty goddess,” whispered Isis. “Please, forgive your humble servant for the dissatisfaction you’ve found in my offering.” Her voice trembled, and it was a struggle not to stutter. She strained to remember the sacred prayer for forgiveness. “Do not cast your wrath upon me, but show mer-” No, damn it. That’s not it! she thought, panic freezing her brain. Oh Hades, I need to get this right or-
Mrs. Bumblefrost’s eyes sparkled with intelligence. Isis waited, terror pulsing through body and soul. The kitten’s expression softened, then turned quizzical as she studied the prostrate woman. She looked at the bowl, then the woman, then the bowl again, nudging it forward with one white paw.
“You want something else?” The words, so natural though not the ones she had been taught, out of her mouth before Isis could stop them.
The kitten’s head bobbed up and down.
Can it be? thought Isis. The woman ran behind the altar and opened a small door. The faithful often left offerings of food to be sacrificed, and Isis carefully pulled aside the covering to reveal a mini-fridge. The goddess jumped down and pawed at the door. Isis pulled out several offerings before the kitten nudged her way inside and made her wishes known.
The priestess laid the plate ceremoniously before the creature. The kitten’s eyes brightened and she pounced once more, this time upon the cookies. They didn’t stand a chance. Isis simply watched.
When she had finished every crumb, the kitten resumed her scrutiny of the woman.
“My goddess,” she said, averting her eyes. “I humbly beg you to show your servant…your servant…” She cleared her throat and asked, “Won’t you please speak to me? Won’t you tell me how to bring your children, the cats, back to this world?”
The kitten licked her paws, cleaning them delicately, then sat back on her haunches. She opened her mouth as though to speak-
Isis contemplated her options.
Why had the goddess refused the first offering? Why had she left without the promised revelation? Was she unworthy of the vision?
The priestess recalled each moment with perfect clarity. She had performed the rite as spelled out in the sacred texts. She had made the designated offering – which was refused. Only when she had strayed from the text, when she relied on her own words to guide her, had the goddess seemed pleased.
But then the goddess had left, just like the cats of this world so long ago…
Could the texts be wrong?
Knowing the world waited for her to emerge from the holy temple and reveal the wisdom of the goddess, she contemplated what she would say. The truth was out of the question. They would never accept that she had been told nothing.
But they would accept whatever she said as dogma.
Finally listening to the still quiet voice deep inside her, she followed the dictates of both her mind and stomach, tossed the other consecrated offerings in the trash, and found milk to go with another plate of chocolate-chip cookies. Without cameras or prying eyes, she leaned back against the altar, the picture of self-indulgence, and wondered how to phrase her revelation to the world.
**All episodes listed here.
**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.