Thank you for your attention. The following story is NOT the next in the Oglingston Spitworthy serial (which will resume next Friday), but rather a story in honor of my son. Monsterbat will celebrate his first double-digit birthday this weekend, so I humbly offer the following as a small part of his birthday present.
The Mad Scientist
The evil genius hunched over the paper, laughing manically, shoulders shaking. His eyes, wide and wild, stared unblinking at the schematic.
“Honey, Tommy’s got the catalog you were looking for!” shouted a woman from the adjoining room. She pulled a blowtorch from her white lab coat to prepare dinner.
“Damn it,” said the boy’s father. He’d better retrieve the paper. Despite his exclamation, he couldn’t have been prouder. He set down the experimental exploding mechanical mice he’d been working on and walked into his son’s bedroom. “Junior?”
The boy looked up. Wide-eyed innocence filled his blue eyes. “Dad! You’ll never guess what Evils R’ Us has this year. I could get… uh, we could get our very own Moon-Disruptor for only seven billion dollars!”
“Well, that depends. Have you been good this year?” asked the boy’s father. He coughed into his thick gloves to hide his grin.
The boy laughed again, the sound emanating from deep in his chest. “Never! I’ve been absolutely terrifying. The kids in my secret society fear me like no other.”
“Hmmm, I don’t know.” The man rubbed his chin stubble and frowned. “That Moon-Disruptor’s pretty pricey. We may not be able to afford it.”
The boy’s face filled with rage, quickly replaced by an even more disturbing calm. “That’s alright,” he said. “Some of my classmates fathers have access to the material I need. I could build one myself, if you get me some plutonium. Have you tried searching Ebay? ”
“No, son, that hadn’t occurred to me, but I’ll give it a try. After all, you’re worth it.”
“And then I can, uh- I mean we can rule the world!” The boy did the laugh again. The vocal coach was clearly paying off.
The boy’s father glowed with pride. His son, rather than following in his footsteps, might even surpass his own distinguished career. Madness, ambition, visions of world domination; His son’s future looked promising indeed.
THE END
*This story was inspired by my son- who is creative, brilliant, and quite greedy when it comes to catalog merchandise. The idea for this came to me, oddly enough, when I saw him ferociously tear through a poor defenseless catalog in his covetous quest for Christmas and birthday presents. I hope he (and you!) enjoyed the story.
As always, feedback and comments are begged for appreciated and welcome. I hope you’ll return on Sunday for the My Writing Niche podcast. Until then, have a great day/evening, and thank you for your time.
**Image courtesy of Cornell University Library via Flicker. No known copyright restrictions.
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Tom Allman
January 28, 2011 at 12:28 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Love it!!! Happy Birthday Monsterbat!!! You are a truly rightous young dude!!!
John Wiswell
January 28, 2011 at 1:59 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You try so hard to raise a decent evil son and all he wants to do is check the internet. Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll troll a webforum…
Mari Juniper
January 28, 2011 at 7:12 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ahh, nothing like a mad scientist to light my day! Di you know I wanted to be one, when I was a kid? Not an evil one, mind. ;P
Laura Eno
January 28, 2011 at 8:43 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Happy birthday, Monsterbat! I can picture him rubbing his hands together with glee and an evil gleam in his eye.
Emma Newman
January 28, 2011 at 10:08 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Cute
I bet Monsterbat loved this. There should be more e-bay mentions in evil genius fiction…
Deanna Schrayer
January 28, 2011 at 1:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Catherine, Monsterbat sounds so much like my own son, 13-years-old. He is constantly checking for deals on ebay, for gold, silver, and many other “not-your-average-teenage-desires” merchandise.
Very cute story Catherine.
Happy Birthday Monsterbat!
Aidan Fritz
January 29, 2011 at 1:24 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Grattis på MonsterBat’s födelsedag! (My usual Swedish Happy B’day greetings).
I liked the approach and the “never” in response to whether he has been good was perfect. Also liked the “Evil ‘R Us”.
Gracie
January 29, 2011 at 1:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Happy birthday, Monsterbat! Mwahahaha!
I love this story so much. From the mom cooking dinner with a blowtorch to the boy’s secret society to eBay– it’s perfect. Oh, and then he already knows how to build his own moon disruptor.
Splendid!
Eric J. Krause
January 30, 2011 at 3:05 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Good one! The son Dr. Evil always wanted.
KjM
January 30, 2011 at 11:19 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“…only seven billion dollars!”
I mean, it’s his birthday, after all.
Great fun with this one.
Happy Birthday, Monsterbat.
tiffany
January 31, 2011 at 3:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh, I smiled all the through this. So creative and I could feel your love and admiration for your son. Thanks for sharing!
Laurita
February 1, 2011 at 12:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hmm, I think Dad had better watch out. Jr. doesn’t seem to want to share the spotlight.
A fun story. I especially liked Evils R us.
Anthony Venutolo
February 2, 2011 at 3:03 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So sorry I’m late to this … But better late than never. Loved this little piece of perfection… I love monsterbat! Fun!!
Chance
February 6, 2011 at 7:12 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Exploding mechanical mice, what more could you want ?
Good stuff
Brinda
February 6, 2011 at 11:14 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Happy birthday Monsterbat! Cathy — great flash again – made me laugh from my belly….mwah ha ha ha
Ganymeder » Blog Archive » My Writing Niche- Episode 20: Fear and Revision
January 30, 2011 at 12:18 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] start off reading my new #Spoken Sunday, The Mad Scientist. This week’s selection is from my #Friday Flash instead of my 52/250 flash story. The [...]