The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.
He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule all the worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.
Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?
From his roof-side perch, the super, Hephaestus stood glued to the window, watching the proceedings below with increasing interest. When the machine had first roared to life, creating the glowing sphere that swirled against the far wall of the laboratory, the super had nearly leaped out of his own tights. Whatever that thing was, it couldn’t possibly be good. His blood raced in his veins.
The two scientists had seemed pleased at first, which chilled the super’s blood even more, but then the kitten had leapt through the portal. Portage McPeeve had nearly leapt through after the animal, but his asssistant, Snap Decision, had pulled him back at the last second. They had been arguing ever since. The super judged by their turbulent arm gestures and excited expressions that the disagreement was becoming increasingly heated.
Hephaestus leaned in more closely. He remembered that even in high school, though they had traveled in different circles, Snap had been known for being brilliant and high spirited. As the sphere slowly swirled, filled with mystery and danger, he thought to himself, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Meanwhile, below in the laboratory, the nefarious Portage McPeeve threw his hands in the air, signaling his defeat, then grabbed a small black box from a table and fit it onto the machine. The deafening hum ceased immediately, and he said, “There! Though I think sound suppression is the least of our worries now.”
“Oh, relax, Portage,” said Snap. “We can’t reasonably discuss the options if we have to keep shouting at each other.”
The expression on Portage McPeeve’s face worried Hephaestus. He pressed his face against the glass while contemplating what it meant for a super villain to be worried.
His reasoning followed along these lines. Villains are bad. If villains are evil, then their desires and goals must be worse. So if a villain is worried, it must mean something interferes with his evil goal, which means it’s actually good news.
Unless it means he’s lost control and things are worse than anyone could possibly imagine, even an evil super villain.
Whatever the circumstances, Hephaestus knew his duty: stop whatever nefarious plot the scientist and Mrs. Bumblefrost (whoever she was) had cooked up. The sooner, the better.
And speaking of Mrs. Bumblefrost, what was with all these bad guys with terrible names? Seriously. Portage McPeeve? Snap Decision? Mrs. Bumblefrost? Hardly monikers to strike fear into the hearts of their enemies. And the name of Portage McPeeve’s father was even worse. Mary? It was a joke. Who would fear a man named Mary?
Yet the hero knew their abilities only too well. Portage’s father had accomplished many dastardly deeds in his lifetime before retiring to a condo in Florida under an assumed name. Oddly enough, the retiree’s new name – Harry Harmful – at least sounded ominous, though lately he only intimidated his fellow poker players on Tuesdays from seven to Midnight.
And what of Mary’s son, Portage? He had kept an eye on the youth ever since High School. Oh, sure his father’s villainous plots were not necessarily a reflection on the son, but did the apple fall far from the tree? He knew Portage enjoyed Role Playing Games – where he frequently played an elf, that he enjoyed chocolate-chip cookies, and that he spent Saturday evenings in the company of the woman he now employed.
He pressed his face against the window, hoping for a clearer view of Snap, and his tools banged loudly against the glass. Fortunately, the scientists were so preoccupied they didn’t noticed the noise. Portage looked distraught, and the super imagined tears glistening in his eyes. However, Snap’s anger and frustration were apparent in her flushed cheeks and fiery eyes. Hephaestus blinked. He couldn’t help noticing how her lab coat flattered her figure and the glow of the sphere reflected off her glasses and made her long, thin ponytails shimmer.
What a woman.
*All episodes listed here.
**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I meant, blog.