The brilliant scientist, Portage McPeeve, does not want to take over the world.
He’s discovered a way to travel the stars, using them as gateways into other realities. With his Gateway Manipulator, he hopes to rule all the worlds of the multi-verse with an iron fist. However, when his beloved kitten becomes lost through the machine, he does not hesitate to cast plans for multi-world domination aside; instead, he follows her through the cosmos – encountering zombies, higher education for Supers, Greek gods, and killer ninjas along the way.
Will Portage find Mrs. Bumblefrost before it’s too late?
The scientist, Doctor Portage McPeeve, made the final adjustments on the machine, and the glowing sphere crackled once more to life. “Ready?” he asked his minion.
Snap Decision dutifully nodded her head, her glasses reflecting electric fire.
Soon the sphere stabilized to a round orb that shone softly against the laboratory’s fluorescent lighting. The link between worlds had been established. Peering through the portal, they gazed into another world.
Victor Halofax directed the workmen to put the crate center stage “Well, what do you think, my dear?” he asked.
Dolly masticated a moment before blowing a huge, pink bubble. Annoyed, Victor popped it with his finger and repeated the question.
“Well, it’s big.”
“Is that all you have to say, my dear?” asked her employer.
“Well, whaddaya want from me, boss?” She placed the gum within the folds of a tissue and tucked it into her pocket. Garish red stains from her lipstick smeared the paper.
“What I expect from you, my dear, is a pretty face to keep the audience enthralled.” He sighed, stroking the crate with one pudgey hand. “Though I can’t imagine them not being captivated by the contents of this box. Just think! This could be a Pharoah… or an Egyptian Queen!”
“Cleopatra?” ventured Dolly, leaning closer to inspect the crate. “When you gonna open this thing, boss?”
“Oh, soon, my dear. Soon enough.” He grabbed a crowbar from a passing workman. “Thank you, my good man, but I’d prefer to do the honors myself.” He worked against the sides of the container while Dolly watched from a discreet distance.
She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully. “I thought you said we was gonna open this thing before a live audience,” she said. “I mean, ain’t that what they’re paying us for?”
“First of all, my dear, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” His face glowed with all the beneficent condescencion of a confirmed mysogenist. He patted her bottom, and Dolly squealed. “But to answer your question… Yes, they are paying for me to unwrap the secrets of ancient Egypt contained in this all too humble container, but no, I don’t think they care about the crate itself. It’s the mummy within that will get their attention. Once I unwrap him or her-”
“Her?” asked Dolly, shock written plainly across her overly colored features. “You’re unDRESSING a woman? I mean, a mummy-woman?”
“Un-WRAPPING, my dear! Not undressing. And I doubt she’ll be unclothed. However, it’s the preservation of her skin and other vitals that holds the most fascination-”
“This a skin show?” Dolly’s discomfort increased exponentionally as her understanding grew.
“Nothing scandalous, my dear, I assure you.” He patted her bottom again, and Dolly hurriedly patted down the frills of her short skirt. “Merely the unwrapping of an ancient corpse, not a taudry show such as one might find in a bordello.”
“A bored who?”
“A house of ill fame, ill repute, a place such as…” He took in his assistant’s puzzled expression. “Never mind, my dear. It matters not.”
“Nothing indecent,” said Dolly.
“Absolutely not.” He gave a mighty pull on the crowbar, and the lid of the crate pulled free along with the coffin’s lid. They crashed onto the floor, the stone covering shattering on impact. Dolly screamed, jumping back as debris scattered across the floor. Several chunks hit her feet and ankles, though her employer had been shielded by the crate’s wooden side.
The upright crate revealed a stone coffin with rough hewn edges. Inside its cold, hard interior the wrapped mummy stood, leaning heavily against the back. Dolly stood scraping bits of rubble from her person, as Victor Halofax moved beside her to admire the coffin’s contents. “Amazing,” he said. “Absolutely amazing.”
“I should say,” sniffed Dolly, examining her legs with dismay. “These fishnets weren’t cheap, boss.”
“No, you ninny! Just think, when we unwrap this creature, we’ll make a fortune. Ancient Egypt’s all the rage nowadays, and-”
Dolly straightened, examining her index finger. “It cut me,” she said, sucking the wound.
“Nevermind that, Dolly. For Heaven’s sake! Have you no vision?”
“What about the lid?”
Halofax huffed. “What, that old thing? No one’s going to care about that. The fascination lies in the mummy itself-”
“But there was writing on it.” She bent to pick up one of the larger shards.
“There’s writing on the whole thing.” Victor Halofax laughed, the sound booming through the empty auditorium, echoing to the far reaches of the room. “And the beauty is, no one can translate hieroglyphics, my dear, but they’ll be climbing over each other to examine them just the same. Trust me! The lid matters not.”
She examined the shard. “It says, ‘Beware whosoever disturbs my earthly remains, lest the curse fall upon you.’” She looked at her employer.
“Oh yes, my dear. You are quite right.” Halofax chuckled. “We could tell them that’s the legend surrounding the body or some such nonsense. Who can dispute it?”
“None,” said the woman, moving towards her employer with feline agility. Her arm shot out, grabbing Victor by the throat and lifting him from the ground. Gasping for air, the huge man struggled in the grip of the tiny figure, until he slumped lifeless in her grasp. From the body, a fine mist rose, then melted through the wooden floor of the stage.
The girl turned to the wrapped corpse. “Come out now, master.” Her words were visible in the suddenly freezing air, and she dropped the body of her victim to the floor.” She spoke softly as she unwrapped the ancient creature in the stone sarcophogus. “It’s a brave new world,” she crooned, “and with such people in it, you shall soon come into your own.”
Within minutes, the wrappings littered the ground, draping the body of Dolly’s former employer and blown across the stage by an unseen wind. From within the stone enclosure, a tall, stately man of raven hair and olive skin stepped across the newly created corpse. His eyes were the color of Midnight. “Set the body in my former prison,” he said, and a smile without warmth darkened his face. “It’s only fitting.”
The woman retrieved the ancient cloth, then began wrapping the body of Victor Halofax with cool efficiency. Her master looked on with approval. “Yes, my servant. I believe you are right. This is an age worthy of a master.”
From behind the red, velvet curtain, a small black kitten with white paws appeared and pounced upon the bandages that had blown to the stage’s far corner. The man’s face tightened when he spotted the small feline, but once the freshly minted corpse had been placed in the sarcophagus he turned and left with his companion, arm in arm.
Soon, the kitten disappeared as well.
**All episodes listed here.
**Look for the next exciting installment of Pinholes next Tuesday, same cat-time, same cat-channel… uh, blog. I mean, blog.